Jesus Returning to Jacksonville Next Week

[JaxByDefault]

This is the best story ever to appear in the Times-Union.

'Mrs. Jesus' arrested at car dealership, charged with fraud
She told police she is married to Jesus Christ

By Matt ColemanStory updated at 4:42 AM on Thursday, Aug. 13, 2009EMAILPRINTBLOG

A Jacksonville woman who said she is Jesus Christ's wife was charged with fraud Monday when she tried to purchase a car with a bad check.

Emma Kim-Tashis Harrison, 25, walked into the Coggin Pontiac dealership on Blanding Boulevard looking for some new wheels. She settled on a vehicle that cost almost $70,000, but things hit a snag when she grabbed her checkbook, according to a Jacksonville Sheriff's Office arrest report.

A representative from a bank in California informed the dealership's financial manager that the account Harrison supplied was bad.

So were the names on the check. It was signed "Mr. and Mrs. Jesus and Emma Christ."

Officers who detained Harrison found a host of credit cards and checks in her purse, some issued to Emma Harrison and others made out to Emma Christ. She said she doesn't work but owns "a traveling Web site that people just deposit money into," according to the report.

Investigators also discovered Harrison has never had a driver's license. She was charged with organized fraud, forging bank bills and uttering forged bills â€" all felonies.

She remains in the Duval County jail without bail.

And where was her husband in all this?
She said Jesus Christ would return next week to sign the paperwork and pick up the car.

http://www.jacksonville.com/news/metro/crime/2009-08-12/story/mrs_jesus_arrested_at_car_dealership_charged_with_fraud

[reednavy]

No words.

[CrysG]

Riiiiigggghhhtttt

[Captain Zissou]

What Pontiac costs $70,000?? Jesus has some nice wheels.

[untarded]

Why not?  He gets 10% and some pretty sweet tax breaks.

[reednavy]

Riiiiigggghhhtttt

Seriously, I have nothing to say, I can't, I just can't. Where would I begin?

[Deuce]

What Pontiac costs $70,000?? Jesus has some nice wheels.

That's what I was thinking? Sounds like she's been running a fraudulent business on the web too but that may not be true. She sounds like she's one pill short of a full medicine cabinet.

[Captain Zissou]

I just checked, no Pontiac costs more than $35K.  Must have been buying some other GM.

[copperfiend]

Tim Tebow is married?

[untarded]

Tim Tebow is married?

No...he can father children without conceiving.

[Doctor_K]

No, no, no.  There's already been an Immaculate Reception:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immaculate_reception

[CrysG]

Riiiiigggghhhtttt

Seriously, I have nothing to say, I can't, I just can't. Where would I begin?

I wasn't making that comment towards you but towards the over all craziness of the Lord returning to by a Pontiac.

[Doctor_K]

Just think of the missed marketing opportunties Pontiac is being presented with.  It's a shame GM has written the Pontiac brand off.  This could've been a marketing goldmine.

[Cliffs_Daughter]

Just think of the missed marketing opportunties Pontiac is being presented with.  It's a shame GM has written the Pontiac brand off.  This could've been a marketing goldmine.

That Pontiac drivers would save an extra 20% on their next vehicle purchase - Jesus saves, and you can too!?


(yes, I went there, I said it...)

[Doctor_K]

Brilliant!  Love it!