Secret JTA Water Taxi Experiment Fails Test

[Ocklawaha]

Michael Blaylock, had no comment today as the latest transportation development from the JTA secret lab sunk slowly into a local swamp. The concept says Mike Miller, was a joint effort of planners Scott Clem, and James Boyle, to combine the best features of transit systems around the world. "They just wanted to put all of these technology's into a single passenger friendly product," said Miller. He added, "It had elements of our PCT Trolley's, our Water Ferry, and our BRT Coaches, we just didn't know if it would sink or swim."

Already frustrated with the Commuter Zeppelin, and the failed Trolley Boat experiments, the agency says it will never surrender its cutting edge development of new ideas. For example, Boyles plan for a trolley boat system on the St. Johns River, was sound enough. "There was no track to lay, but we couldn't find a way to prevent the buoys with the trolley wire support, from tipping over, tangling the wires." JTA has announced that to be a Bold New Transit agency, it needs to eliminate proven ideals like Light Rail, these concepts just don't fit Jacksonville. Though Boyle, added that considering the success of the streetcar in Savannah, he still has high hopes to secure funding for his Chain Saw Powered Trolley. Funds which may become available as the city sells off the material from the former Skyway, now being dismantled by STJR wrecking.

In recent years JTA has had to map a path to a transit system that would be both cheap and not too hard for the citizens to undersand. "Exactly," said Clem, "That's what BRT is all about!" Boyle, frowned as Clem, made the now familiar statement, "Just like rail, only cheap, cheap, cheap".

Meanwhile, Mayor Peyton, has not been able to locate the $100 Million in Mass Transit funding that the city voted for in the Better Jacksonville Plan, even with the help of retired Major Hatanaka. The City Council Chamberlain, hid the funds in the Royal Palace, Empress Room, on Duval Street. Before he wrote a four line apology to the mayor, just before committing seppuku late last night, Hatanaka, tore up one office after another looking for the cash. Peyton was going to announce the whole thing as a theft by the City Council this morning on WNHK Radio, but he didn't know how to work the equipment. Station officials called in the Kempeitai to investigate. One can only hope that all of these officials which hold sway over the funding for JTA projects will do the honorable thing and commit seppuku themselves.

Another carload of Bull Shit brought to you by:
OCKLAWAHA hee hee!

[untarded]

...the former Skyway, now being dismantled by STJR wrecking.

Thanks,  I needed this today!

[Ocklawaha]

If Jacksonville was a dog, it would be a cross breed between a Pit Bull, and a Shitzu, which ONLY WE pronounce as Pitzu...

OCKLAWAHA

[coredumped]

That picture had me cracking up. Do you have a picture of a commuter zepplin station?

[Ocklawaha]

OOp's Jacksonville Commuter Zeppelin at "Port Peyton." When it absolutely, positively, has to be docked right the first time!

[Dog Walker]

If Jacksonville was a dog, it would be a cross breed between a Pit Bull, and a Shitzu, which ONLY WE pronounce as Pitzu...

OCKLAWAHA

No, Ock.  It would be a Bull Shitz!  Perfect mascot for City of Jacksonville.

[buckethead]

^{I lol'd}

[Lunican]

http://embed.break.com/1274946

[Ernest Street]

If Jacksonville was a dog, it would be a cross breed between a Pit Bull, and a Shitzu, which ONLY WE pronounce as Pitzu...

OCKLAWAHA

No It would be Shit-Pit

[CS Foltz]

Your killing me Ock............as far outside of the box that seems, I would not put it past them to try something along them lines! They could always get some of the old amphibious Ducks and refurbish them for the same program!