Fantasy football

[riverside_mail]

I got it. i was half asleep and half out the door for work trying to pick someone. Make my Gurley my keeper.

[Lucasjj]

Below is the final keeper list. Cline and Danno are out and have been replaced by sanmarcomatt and JaxAvondale. I have finalized the teams, divisions, keepers, and draft order. At this point all that is left to do is draft and then watch NWR run his mouth while managing a failing team.

[Non-RedNeck Westsider]

Failing Team?!?!?

You mean "Rebuilding".

I pretty much looked around the league last year and decided to take a year off, much like any FA that comes to Jacksonville.  You see the talent level around you and realize that anything close to resembling your best or even slightly better than average would be devastating to the fragile psychs of the others around, so you tone things down a bit. 

I'm hoping the addition of some new blood might raise the competition level up a bit, but somehow I doubt it.   

Are we sure that JaxAvondale realizes that this is a fantasy American football league and not some cheesy roto-futbol crap?

Will sanmarcomatt, regardless all of his wry financial musing, manage to keep his shit together when he realizes that he might end up with a player that has a 'questionable' background? 

Has Rog finally ended the Ebony-muffin's reign of leading the league in criminality.  And let's be honest, how many of those felonies have turned to wins?  For a lover of all that is UM, you still haven't seemed to grasp that 'felon with actual talent' concept. 

Hell, the only way any one ever stood a legitimate chance of winning was after Johnsonville left.   "But what about me...." Hush Massilon, the sun shines on a dog's ass every once and a while.  I should let you know that I think I've figured out a way to electronically spam the USPS with front door pickup requests for any address.  Get ready for a Looonnnngggg season.

Anyone here feel sorry for that Baltimore guy?  I sure as hell don't.  His 3rd place finish was such a fucking anomaly that it almost gave me hope that unicorns and fairies might exist.  Right alongside FSU taking the ACC again this year or even in the near future.

And Post St...  forever the bridesmaid.  The only thing that even keeps you relevant is that fact that you're the commissioner of the league.  And even though you're not as reviled as good ol' Rog you kind of remind me of him.  High school standout but was never really good enough to play the game outright.  So he finagled a way to put the entire league in a stranglehold. 

When the bullied becomes the Bully....

Here's to another mediocre season.  Be prepared to kiss the ring in December!

[Non-RedNeck Westsider]

Will sanmarcomatt, regardless all of his wry financial musing, manage to keep his shit together when he realizes that he might end up with a player that has a 'questionable' background? 

Hmmmm....I guess my outlandish objections to domestic violence could "handcuff" me ( I am here all season) during the draft but I think I will be able to manage.
My worst draft nightmare is Josh Brown falling to me in round 14 and having to deal with a difficult moral dilemma. I may have to use up all of my clock on that one.....

Well, my friend you're gonna be in for a really long season if you're coming in with expectations of a punter lasting to round 14.

There's usually a solid of punters between rounds 7-11.

Consider this the only true advice I'll be giving this season.

[JaxAvondale]

Are we sure that JaxAvondale realizes that this is a fantasy American football league and not some cheesy roto-futbol crap?

I'll be ready!

[tufsu1]

Hmmmm....I guess my outlandish objections to domestic violence could "handcuff" me ( I am here all season) during the draft but I think I will be able to manage.

don't worry...The Ebony Stud (Lakelander) will draft as many criminals as possible

[thelakelander]

Unbelievable. I lost 3 of the 4 RBs on my roster to injury on the same day. To make matters worse, the one healthy guy was only supposed to be a temporary fill in until Jamaal Charles returns. Charles returns......this week.....

[tufsu1]

hey....I'm sitting on the Viking's McKinnon...once Charles returns to my roster, I'm happy to entertain a trade offer

[JaxAvondale]

Yea! I was in the same boat. My best player is Gronk and he has been hurt all year.

[Non-RedNeck Westsider]

WallStTraders hasn't had the opportunity to run into the buzzsaw that is my team yet.  2 more weeks if you're lucky.

I would need to sit out a week or two for most of you to catch my total points. 

So keeper envy aside, just be glad you were in that powder-puff division for the season.

[thelakelander]

My first time missing the playoffs in a decade of fantasy football. Lost both of my starting RBs, including my keeper, in week one or two. Ended up going 6-1 down the stretch by riding the Ajayi (my new waiver wire keeper) train. Unfortunately, tufsu1's crappy team couldn't put the stem on the apple this week, causing Team Stud to go limp.

[Lucasjj]

The gods of fantasy football have smited the Post St Playmakers. A disappointing season with an 8th place finish while being 3rd overall in scoring.

This game is stupid.

[Non-RedNeck Westsider]

Quite the record you had against that powder-puff division. 1-3?

As for your total points, impressive but too bad it didn't mean more wins, Hillary. I expect you to fade like a cheap purple pant suit.

Defense wins championships and clearly many are intimidated going up against my juggernaut of a team as my points against illustrates.

What others call "luck", I attribute to my belichickian game planning.

I will attribute my playing down to the competition habit to my Clemson background.  They don't call it Clemsoning for no reason.

And while defense may win championships is a common belief, it's a proven fact that whomever scores the most points wins. 

Ball control is a must and you can take my word that I'm very good when handling balls.    Wait...

[Non-RedNeck Westsider]

Perhaps Putin hacked yahoo but pending an investigation, evidently I won by .02 points (yes, the decimal is in the correct place) which is the smallest margin of victory possible.

.02 points. One passing yard. Ba Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha  Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. Sorry, just needed to get that out of my system.

Clearly I shouldn't have underestimated my teams heart.....it is a heart of a stallion. (this is where the Rocky theme starts quietly)

Bell puts up 54(!) points against me? Can we get up off the mat? I think we can...our glove just reached for the bottom rung

Forte leaves the game with an injury a goes <1 point? Don't worry...we've got this....standing 8 count

Stafford Pick 6?  He Runs in the game winner himself! (Theme getting a little louder)

Gano with ice in his veins and 4 FG! A couple of jabs...

Eifert scores twice! (Theme really kicking in now).

Hilton and Sanders explode in the 2nd half! Starting to work the body...

Sunday Night Football.Down Goes Dak! Ding... Ding... Ding

Putin! Puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutin! Puuuuuuuuuuuutinnnnnnnnnn!

Clearly my luck still has a little life and I have too much time on my hands.

Just win baby!

I love this. 

I too was beaten before the late game started last night, but the G-men kept Zeke out of the endzone and Dez actually put up a negative number.  (-.5 for those of you keeping score at home)

So I hope Belichick pulls out one of those old tapes he likes to watch from back in the Knute Rockne days and let's the Pats run the T formation to victory with nary a pass thrown Edleman's way.

[Non-RedNeck Westsider]

Dez with an amazing line! Maybe he is tanking to get his...sniff....quarterback...sob.... back in the line up.

If you can follow up a Dez negative with Edelman being virtually shut out tonight I think I will nominate you for the  league Golden Horseshoe up the ass award. (currently mine to lose)

If I win, man, I'd just ask that you hose it off before I cram it up there.