UPDATE * 7 NEW SCARS AND SEVERAL PIECES MISSING! * UPDATE

[Ocklawaha]

Chillin' with my pals.

Well it's nice to know things are back to normal again... I can't sit up or roll over without gut wrenching pain, laying down is excruciating. I have however made some beneficial observations for anyone that might visit a good doctor or a hospital this year. For me this is visit one of what may be 4 major surgeries. BTW, I can't sleep either! I am however relaxing with a nice cocktail of Oxicodone, Valium and ketorolac Toradol I.V., some clown even tossed in some Tylenol just for good measure though I can't figure out why for the life of me.

So here I lay in the Mayo Clinic Hospital, a one day and overnight surgery that now appears to be moving steadily into my normal nothing-works-right-week-long-stay.



Ever notice that:

You will do well to recall that medicine is an 'art' not a 'science,' and my doctor has finger paints!

Hospital O.R. is kept at a temperature colder then a witches tits in a brass bra?

Or that all arterial blood gas needles are kept in a boiling concoction of acid and paint stripper?

Did you know that the worlds heaviest doors are in the hospital?

Not only that but the worlds noisiest doors are in the hospital?

Medical centers all buy their toilet paper and tissues from the 'Florida Sandpaper Corporation.'

The amount of surgical shaving, washing and prep will always expand to include the youngest, sexiest babe on staff.

Hospitals save money by providing you with just ½ of a gown.

You can count on the nursing staff to celebrate birthdays, baby showers and Bar Mitzvah's at 3 am just outside your door.

Nurse Ratched LIVES!

All stethoscopes are kept in the freezer.

Showing any doctor where it hurts is a sure fire way to have it hurt even more!

There is no such thing as modesty in clinical life.

ANY exposed area of skin is subject to immediate exotic needle sticks.

A 'blenderized diet' means your going to eat nothing more then warm colored water.

A single surgery can and probably will lead to 7 news scars.

Lab techs are all 8 foot tall German women that only call on your room between 2 am and 4 am nightly.

Any injection that begins with the words 'It's just a little gnat bite,' is guaranteed to feel like a Manson Family stabbing.

Toilet 'hats' were not made for men over the age of 6.

Showering while keeping 7 scars dry is a scientific impossibility.


When she said 'this is going to REALLY HURT'... she WASN'T #@!#$^$@#!#%!! KIDDING!

[thelakelander]

Take it easy and get some rest Ock! Hope you feel better soon.

[Timkin]

Feel better, Ock.    Sorry you're having to go through all that.

[Noone]

Ock, Take it railllll easy.

[Non-RedNeck Westsider]

Get well, Ock. 

If you're tired of taking all of that crazy shit intravenously...  I know a guy.

[Jason]

You're a trooper Bob!  Hang in there and make friends with the nurses.  They'll take care of ya!

[Tacachale]

Hang in there, Bob. With that sense of humor you'll be feeling better in no time.

[mbwright]

no pain, no gain!!   get well soon.

[Charles Hunter]

Is there a pool on how many nurses accept Bob's passes?

[Ocklawaha]

HA HA HA! 


https://www.facebook.com/Ocklawaha

CHIECK OUT THIS LINK! lol!

Well folks I'm finally on the way home from the supposedly "10 hour in and out surgery" at Mayo... You know, the one that took me 7 days and nights... I think!??? As I've hinted at before, being a disabled veteran (100% services connected Vietnam era) I am very prone to infections, non healing, I'm Anemic, etc, but God has streghthened me to be able to;

MJ Readers: Oh, Thank you so much! We've been missing such a long time that we feel so messy...

City Council: Of course your uneasy, you've heard from Bob And might not ever again, I fancy. There's only one of him and he's it. Bob fits the bill, we claim that he is  the Horse of a Different Color, you've heard tell about.

'Old Hippie Bob:' You are talking to a man who has laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom and chuckled at catastrophe. I was petrified.

MJ Readers, witnessing me aeronautical feats: [as the Bob's balloon goes off without our crew] Come back! Come back! Don't go without us! Please come back!
'Old Hippie Bob': I can't come back, I don't know how it works! Good-bye, folks!

To quickly organize our proactive citizenry, Bob begins to toss papers out of the balloon: Remember my loyal subjects, some people claim to have one thing you haven't got: a diploma (Most of which were tossed in slow moving car's at the University of Oklahoma campus in Norman, OK). Therefore, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Universitartus Committiartum E Pluribus Unum el Vaquero de Oklahoma State University, I hereby confer upon you all the honorary degrees of ThD. The crowd roars as the balloon fades into the stratosphere, ThD? Hippie Bob of MJ: That's... Doctor of Thinkology.

MEANWHILE AT MAYO HOSPITAL IN JACKSONVILLE: 

As you can see they have REALLY sharpened me up for my next major surgery next month or so. This one promises completely off of my feet for 4 months.

They sent me home with a nice IV of Valium: On the first day, 100 mg b.i.d., for a total daily dose of 200 mg. This daily dose may be increased by up to 200 mg/day using increments of 100 mg every 12 hours for tablets, only as needed to achieve freedom from pain.

PLUS+++

2 mg IV Oxicodone, 1 mg of Oxicodone is approximately equal to 1 mg of IV morphine.

PLUS +++ FINALLY

Dilaudid: (hydromorphone hydrochloride) Dilaudid Injection are theI V forms of an opioid analgesic used for control of moderate to severe pain.

Dilaudid Injection is available as sterile solution containing 1, 2, or 4 mg hydromorphone hydrochloride with 0.2% sodium citrate and 0.2% citric acid solution. Dilaudid injection starting dose is 1-2 mg subcutaneously or intramuscularly every 4 to 6 hours as necessary for pain; it can also be given IV slowly over 2-3 min but respiration needs to be monitored.

GEE! Shades of 1969! I can't wait to see what they spring on me next month!


For my many friends and our readers (which most of our staff know nothing about) here's my rough translation.

EN SPANGLISH: 

¡ESTOY en casa ahora, un día se convirtió en 5 días y 5 noches. Me siento como un hombre cohete... tal vez Batman. Me preocupan las alergias que sentí cuando lleve a la casa, si me da tos creo que  voy a morirme. tengo Una nueva cirugía más graves en un mes, Venga a visitarnos espero que todavía pueda disfrutar. gracias por escribirme

[Ocklawaha]

Here we go again... and again...

Less then 11 hours until I'm on the table being sliced and diced again! Don't worry about me folks, I'm the one hugging the bottle of morphine! SMILE!