Women Put These Between Your Legs and Build Up Your Mind

[BridgeTroll]

Agree...

[KenFSU]

Delete it Will, pretend like none of this ever happened.

Lol, literally "DELETE THIS!" Is that how you handle opinions you disagree with? If anything, some of you are totally predictable if anything gets real. You could just, you know, ignore him maybe? I know I know, too simple & wouldn't allow people to grandstand & virtue signal, which is all the rage these days.

William is obviously concerned about the extreme rise within the last couple decades of black children being born to single parents, which is something like 72% (in the 70s it was around 30%). He probably lives it & sees it every single day, and knows the negative effects it can cause. The STD rate is also extremely high within the black community. These aren't my personal feelings, they're legit stats from the CDC & others. All this usually goes back to what's happening at home & the family unit, or lack thereof. I know this doesn't exactly lineup with some people's worldview, but it is what it is.

That being said, I agree that he could've went about it differently instead of "close your damn legs!". William seems like he likes to play the blame game more than finding actual solutions. It was clear long ago he was just using the forum here to copy/paste what he's written somewhere else, with no followup engagement. I actually blocked him years ago because of this (although I still see his threads on the front page).

Point is, I ignore him. You could try that.

To be clear, when I said, "Delete this, pretend it never happened," it wasn't because I disagree with his opinion. He's entitled to it, poor etiquette aside. It was because he's a public educator, using his real name and photo, talking down to women and using offensive, outdated language like "keep your legs closed." If my daughter was in his class and I saw that, heads would roll.

[peestandingup]

To be clear, when I said, "Delete this, pretend it never happened," it wasn't because I disagree with his opinion. He's entitled to it, poor etiquette aside. It was because he's a public educator, using his real name and photo, talking down to women and using offensive, outdated language like "keep your legs closed." If my daughter was in his class and I saw that, heads would roll.

That's assuming he even comes back to check. I'd prob feel the same way in all honesty if my daughter were on his class.

Is he a legit public educator? What does he teach?

[Cheshire Cat]

Delete it Will, pretend like none of this ever happened.

Lol, literally "DELETE THIS!" Is that how you handle opinions you disagree with? If anything, some of you are totally predictable if anything gets real. You could just, you know, ignore him maybe? I know I know, too simple & wouldn't allow people to grandstand & virtue signal, which is all the rage these days.

William is obviously concerned about the extreme rise within the last couple decades of black children being born to single parents, which is something like 72% (in the 70s it was around 30%). He probably lives it & sees it every single day, and knows the negative effects it can cause. The STD rate is also extremely high within the black community. These aren't my personal feelings, they're legit stats from the CDC & others. All this usually goes back to what's happening at home & the family unit, or lack thereof. I know this doesn't exactly lineup with some people's worldview, but it is what it is.

That being said, I agree that he could've went about it differently instead of "close your damn legs!". William seems like he likes to play the blame game more than finding actual solutions. It was clear long ago he was just using the forum here to copy/paste what he's written somewhere else, with no followup engagement. I actually blocked him years ago because of this (although I still see his threads on the front page).

Point is, I ignore him. You could try that.

Interesting this article and one he posted today both discussed women.  I may be one of only two women who commented on this thread and will tell you the problem through the eyes of a woman who lived through the 1950's up until today. William promotes himself as an educator so he needs to listen up to us women on the topic of women.  The simple fact is that a man who begins his topic line by telling women with a focus on black women, what they should put between their legs to improve their intellect is degrading and insulting. He implies that they are simple carnal creatures who too often indulge in promiscuity instead of education. I mean what the hell is that?  You know folks need to get past the Adam and Eve fairy tale and the damn apple placing Eve as a seductress.  Adam ate the damn apple because he wanted to and it was his own damn snake that got him in trouble. Insinuating at any level that advancing education has to do with what goes between a woman's legs is not only ignorant is it unacceptable.  Then there is the "mansplaning"overtone where he promotes his views and findings about what black women should do to improve their lives as a male observer.  Tell you what, women are so over this behavior that it cannot be ignored.  Yes he may be concerned about single parenthood, sexually transmitted disease and much more.  Yes there is ton's of statistical proof that several serious societal problems exist, but to ignore the fact that single parenthood or in many cases the transmission of STD's is a result of man and a women having sex because they both choose to is a major fail.  It's not just a women with her legs open, it's a man and a woman.  Both have to be equally responsible and educated.  It is even more egregious because his post seems to be aimed at black women who are out stepping other groups in the area advanced education which is why I posted the info I did earlier.  William apparently was unaware of that fact.

KenFSU clearly recognized the problem and spoke in my view as someone who understands the underbelly of sexism in all forms, even those meant to be benign. He was not overreacting but reacting as a father and man who respects women.  We need to have more of that in today's world.
 
Interestingly William posted again today about you guessed it, women.  This time a more flattering article.  Perhaps that was his attempt an apology but it was not good enough.  I agree with much of what others pointed out which is that his posts are hit and run.  He drops a view or idea and does not engage other forum members when they respond to his ideas and viewpoints.  So William, if you read this, you need to get your head on straight about women and the fact that we will no longer put up with sexist innuendo or mansplaining. 

[williamjackson]

I appreciate all the comments which allow me to understand the people that read
and ridicule instead of engaged in a dialogue of understanding and comprehension.

I struggled with the title and even prayed over it, but I'm sure I would not have
received such colorful comments that attack my profession as an educator and even
the attempts to get people to understand the valuable resource our public
library system is. It is interesting that no matter how much work that I try to
do in the community my character is attacked and my attempts to show the
good things going on in Jacksonville and how parents should be more involved
in schools and community groups.

I wrote and re-wrote this reply twice, not to sound angry, but to encourage
intellectual thought and re-evaluation of what you are doing in your community
to help others to grow.

If I were to take a poll how many have been to the African American section of
the library or taken children there? How many have encouraged the consistent
attempts to get children to read more and to be involved in community events?

I rarely see such energy generated to get more activities for children, youth,
teens and young adults that are homeless, struggling with mental illness
and even caught up in the justice system. Movies and television programs are
showing children involved in acts beyond their years, but where are the
sounds to stop this? With all the resources of the libraries why still are they
not full during the weekends, holidays with youth, teens and young adults?

Thanks for your words of encouragement, my character and even the attempts
to question my years as an educator. Take the time to walk in another person's
shoes and be engaged with the intellectual pursuits to better children and help
families that are struggling.

If this piece of writing can cause this flurry of replies then maybe each of us
needs to be more active in supporting the library system and volunteer time
to take kids and families to the library more. Get kids that are homeless
the resources to make sure they graduate from high school and continue on
with their lives and even, just maybe volunteer time at Boys and Girls Clubs
and other youth groups that struggle with mentors and role models.

Thanks for all the talk, now let's see those words with being involved in our
schools, our communities, our youth organizations.

Call the juvenile justice departments and volunteer to help kids reshape
their lives so they will change to citizens that will seek to better their lives
and our community. What works do you do and are you involved in?

I have more to come, it is a decision you make to read or not, but I continue
to help youth teens and young adults as much as possible even with controversial
titles that get people to think.

What do you say to help or be a critic?

[Cheshire Cat]

I appreciate all the comments which allow me to understand the people that read
and ridicule instead of engaged in a dialogue of understanding and comprehension.

I struggled with the title and even prayed over it, but I'm sure I would not have
received such colorful comments that attack my profession as an educator and even
the attempts to get people to understand the valuable resource our public
library system is. It is interesting that no matter how much work that I try to
do in the community my character is attacked and my attempts to show the
good things going on in Jacksonville and how parents should be more involved
in schools and community groups.

I wrote and re-wrote this reply twice, not to sound angry, but to encourage
intellectual thought and re-evaluation of what you are doing in your community
to help others to grow.

If I were to take a poll how many have been to the African American section of
the library or taken children there? How many have encouraged the consistent
attempts to get children to read more and to be involved in community events?

I rarely see such energy generated to get more activities for children, youth,
teens and young adults that are homeless, struggling with mental illness
and even caught up in the justice system. Movies and television programs are
showing children involved in acts beyond their years, but where are the
sounds to stop this? With all the resources of the libraries why still are they
not full during the weekends, holidays with youth, teens and young adults?

Thanks for your words of encouragement, my character and even the attempts
to question my years as an educator. Take the time to walk in another person's
shoes and be engaged with the intellectual pursuits to better children and help
families that are struggling.

If this piece of writing can cause this flurry of replies then maybe each of us
needs to be more active in supporting the library system and volunteer time
to take kids and families to the library more. Get kids that are homeless
the resources to make sure they graduate from high school and continue on
with their lives and even, just maybe volunteer time at Boys and Girls Clubs
and other youth groups that struggle with mentors and role models.

Thanks for all the talk, now let's see those words with being involved in our
schools, our communities, our youth organizations.

Call the juvenile justice departments and volunteer to help kids reshape
their lives so they will change to citizens that will seek to better their lives
and our community. What works do you do and are you involved in?

I have more to come, it is a decision you make to read or not, but I continue
to help youth teens and young adults as much as possible even with controversial
titles that get people to think.

What do you say to help or be a critic?

William, what makes you think that many of us are not on the front lines of these issues?  I have been for decades and so have many more posters here.  I don't want to hear you tell us how you struggled to write this piece. Not interested one bit.  I want an apology for your statement about "what women should put between their legs".  That was crass and sexist.  Glad you answered but not impressed by a flurry of words that misses or ignores the point.  Don't mansplain, apologize. 

[ronchamblin]

Being on the front lines of this predicament more than most of us, William seems to have become somewhat frustrated, having every day acute perceptions as to the many students avoiding the reading of books, and the perhaps too many black females becoming pregnant so young ... without the father around for support. 

The title he chose?  Well ... it certainly encourages attention and criticism.  But it also points to a strong message.  Is the title appropriate? Perhaps it could have been better chosen.  But given the seriousness of the societal predicament surrounding the issue of too much careless unsafe sex in general, and by black females in particular ... I really don't give a goddamn what William choses as a title ... up to a point of course.

Yes ... my god (choose the one you like), the young endure very strong pressures to have sex.  And when the sexual forces within a young man and a young woman combine, it takes a powerful will to either avoid sex, or to have sex safely ... with protection.

Hell, I remember even in my twenties, becoming sexually aroused while observing certain shapely trees ... such is the power of the sexual urge in some imaginative humans.  You've heard of the tree "huggers" ... the environmentalists?  I was a potential tree "fck*r".  Being very very shy, I knew the trees would not resist or be offended.  Having gained counseling, I'm over that now ... the trees are safe. (joke btw) 

William is right on in most of what he has said.  Just an anecdote or two. 

A man almost begged me to hire his granddaughter, a 17 year old pregnant black female, to work at the downtown bookstore.  I reluctantly agreed.  After several days, I began to notice a consistent level of error in placing books into categories, and in searching for titles desired by customers.  I decided (too late I admit) to ask her questions about history and the sciences.  This girl (and there are many white high school graduates in the same state of ignorance) did not know in what century occurred the Civil War.  She did not know whether the Dark Ages was before or after the Roman Empire.  The Great Depression?  No clue as to what it was, or into which century it would fall. 

Sadly, I had to let her go, explaining to her that it was almost impossible for her to work in a bookstore without at least some knowledge of history and the sciences ... or the humanities in general. 

Of course, she gained knowledge of sex quite easily, as sex is ... natural.  But she actually practiced careless sex, with the result of pregnancy.  The father?  Later, I heard that he disappeared, leaving her with no support.

The powerful force within the young to have sex is great indeed.  For the young, if there is no direction or focus on positive or productive objectives, such as reading to become educated, or if there is no will to resist careless and early sex ... sex might happen, and the harmful consequences for the individual and society are often for a lifetime ... as William has explained in his seemingly frustrated post. 

Contrast the above anecdote with another black female hired several months ago.  Age is about 18 or 19.  She is savvy on history and the sciences, besides being sharp in general.  I suspect that her upbringing, which was in a very poor environment by the way, somehow conveyed sufficient good sense so that she actually focused on learning (book reading was her excuse William) in school, and had the willpower to avoid careless sex.

I suspect that William, along with me and other citizens of good sense, would be pleased and encouraged to see less of the type in the first anecdote, and more of the type in the latter.

One of the few things I'm not in agreement with William is his reference to prayer.  But I don't want to burden anyone with my opinions about that curious human endeavor.   

No ... I would not have chosen the title chosen by William.  I don't have the balls.  But to disparage and attack William or his post excessively is to miss the point of his message ... a strong and important message.   

As in the law and in the rare realm of common sense ... the intent is often of much greater importance than the actual behavior.  Let William go, as he is on the mark.  He is a concerned individual ... a concerned educator ... and he has the gumption to speak and act according to his convictions.

Why attempt to disparage or punish a man who does wonders for a community and society year after year, when he makes a careless indiscretion in using sensitive or awkward terms "once".  William attempted to get the complacent to wake up a bit ... to look with increased attention to the realities surrounding the subject at hand.

[Adam White]

Why is it the woman's burden to avoid having sex? Why should we be lecturing women on staying away from "bad" men instead of lecturing men on being better people?

Why not enjoy reading books and having a good fuck every once in awhile? You'll probably feel a lot better. And not end up as some guilt-ridden maladjusted freak.

[ronchamblin]

Regarding William's urging of the idea of reading ...within our environments, we humans are offered, at all times of the day several strong options to which we might be encouraged to give attention and act upon.  We generally give attention to, and act according to, the most powerful stimuli within our environment.  I think William might also be saying ... why not give greater energy to the entire realm of books, reading, and intellectual excitement, so that this energy might overwhelm with increasing success, the powerful culture of sex drive satisfaction of the moment. 

Doing so allows us to become less like the animals, and possess more of the human ideal of restraint and precision in our thoughts and actions.  We seem to be drifting backwards somewhat, becoming on occasion more like the animals.  The occasional trend to a lack of attention to discipline and intellectual development encourages I suspect societal problems we all wish to avoid ... problems caused by, especially regarding the young, excesses of careless and ultimately harmful sex on a scale that might be reduced somewhat by an increasing pressure and direction to seek other goals, such as an education, with a focus on learning that there is actually more to life than sex.

[Adam White]

Regarding William's urging of the idea of reading; Within our environments, we humans are offered, at all times of the day several strong options to which we might be encouraged to give attention and act upon.  We generally give attention to, and act according to, the most powerful stimuli within our environment.  I think William might also be saying ... why not give greater energy to the entire realm of books, reading, and intellectual excitement, so that this energy might overwhelm with increasing success, the powerful culture of sex drive satisfaction of the moment. 

Doing so allows us to become less like the animals, and possess more of the human ideal of restraint and precision in our thoughts and actions.  We have become more than the animals.  The occasional trend to a lack of attention to discipline and intellectual development encourages I suspect societal problems we all wish to avoid ... problems caused by excesses of careless and ultimately harmful sex on a scale that might be reduced somewhat by an increasing pressure and direction to seek other goals, such as an education, with a focus on learning that there is actually more to life than sex.

I don't doubt that William's intentions were good, but as they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

[Cheshire Cat]

Regarding William's urging of the idea of reading ...within our environments, we humans are offered, at all times of the day several strong options to which we might be encouraged to give attention and act upon.  We generally give attention to, and act according to, the most powerful stimuli within our environment.  I think William might also be saying ... why not give greater energy to the entire realm of books, reading, and intellectual excitement, so that this energy might overwhelm with increasing success, the powerful culture of sex drive satisfaction of the moment. 

Doing so allows us to become less like the animals, and possess more of the human ideal of restraint and precision in our thoughts and actions.  We seem to be drifting backwards somewhat, becoming on occasion more like the animals.  The occasional trend to a lack of attention to discipline and intellectual development encourages I suspect societal problems we all wish to avoid ... problems caused by, especially regarding the young, excesses of careless and ultimately harmful sex on a scale that might be reduced somewhat by an increasing pressure and direction to seek other goals, such as an education, with a focus on learning that there is actually more to life than sex.

Okay, one more time for clarity for the men who don't understand what my point is which I will explain yet again as follows.  Men and some women have been so inoculated to underhanded and belittling remarks about women that they don't pay attention when they happen or they try to "explain" it away to make it more comfortable to themselves, hence the new term "man-splaining".  We as a society, especially those like William who are want to serve themselves up as concerned and involved citizens need to change the negative and disrespectful way in which women are framed, spoken to and about with regard to all human issues and most especially with regard to issues that impact us.  While I appreciate William's intent and the explanations to explain his poor and insulting statement framing women as "too preoccupied with sex than education" his words a gross insult for which he has yet to apologize to the women who read here and the men who respect them.  Look, I am not now and have never been a weak or thin skinned woman.  I have always felt self empowered and that likely has to do with the example my parents set while I was growing up, which was one of respect and equality between the sexes. However, in this country, especially now under the influence of a misogynist in the oval office who has surrounded himself with like minded individuals and defends clown Bill O'Reilly claiming he did nothing wrong when he was confronted and in some cases found guilty of sexual harassment and intimidation of the women he works with and knows socially each and every statement that lessens or falsely defines women must be addressed.

I am not at any level attacking the facts underlying so many problems impacting our society or in the original post and frankly it is interesting that William's frustration was understood by Ron but the intent of myself as a woman speaking to the issue  was completely not understood by him.  The point is and remains that women will no longer sit back and have ourselves, our feelings, our intellect and our goals explained away by men, nor will we allow ourselves to take the blame for issues created by both men and women.  I hope that is clear enough.  I am also most grateful for the men who do understand the point and have evolved beyond the need to make women less than.   

[ronchamblin]

I appreciate your comments CC.  I've most of the time enjoyed your insights, and agreed with you on most of your opinions.  But onward  ....

If an apology is due to anyone, it would be for William's poor choice of title.  But I certainly do not believe that he owes an apology to anyone, whether female or male, for the substance of his post.  I do not believe that either me or William are talking down to,  denigrating, or insulting women, but that we are simply attempting to describe a rather unfortunate and harmful scenario regarding the lack of focus on books, reading, and the achievement of an education ... a scenario partially caused by, and existing along side of, a culture of careless and excessive sex too often engaged by students, both male and female ... black and white. 

I do not have statistics, but I suspect that the facts might suggest that too many young students, black/white and male/female, as evidenced in part by the number of unplanned pregnancies, are focusing on and excessively engaging careless sex, at the expense of energy better spent on the achievement of a good education.  Perhaps William is simply trying to say that enough is enough ... that we ... somebody .... some group ... must attempt to encourage more young people, male and female, to understand certain realities regarding the long term harmful consequences of excessive careless sex.

When discussing sensitive subjects as best one is able, it is unfortunate but understandable that occasionally what one sincerely conveys as a truth is perceived by someone as an insult.  I hope the substance and intent rises to importance on this one, due to the importance of the issue, while the slight possibility of insult might descend to a lesser consequence. 

[Cheshire Cat]

I have no problem with the substance and have stated that.  My problem is with the initial into and his focus on black women that implies that somehow all of the problems he listed begin and end with women and their choice.  Good to talk to you Ron. 

[RattlerGator]

Very good job, Ron.

[Gunnar]

hence the new term "man-splaining".  We as a society, especially those like William who are want to serve themselves up as concerned and involved citizens need to change the negative and disrespectful way in which women are framed, spoken to and about with regard to all human issues and most especially with regard to issues that impact us. 

Speaking of the negative and disrespectful way in which people of a gender are framed:

From Wikipedia

Many people consider the term [mansplaining] to be pejorative, sexist and patronizing to men. Its use remains controversial and people who use it may find themselves categorized as sexist and a misandrist