Since we are heading into the Algae-bloom season, here is a rerun:
I am writing because I'm conducting a campaign against imagination. There’s far too much of it. People think of it as though it were something real. Let me make one thing clear: there’s no such thing. It doesn’t exist. It's only in people's minds. But people keep praising it anyway, like it might make their lives better. For example, take all the problems people imagine are connected to the St. Johns River. People get all worked up. But these things are only in their minds. They're only problems if people allow themselves to think of them that way. If they'd only think of them as benefits, then, voilà , suddenly their lives would become better. Better as in: stress free. Let me give you an example.
http://jaxsatire.com/2011/12/08/post-of-st-johns-algae-bloomkeeper-created/
The Jaxonpool News with Violent Crawley: It was reported today that Florida grabs more national headlines than the average state. It certainly garners more attention than Delaware. Nine stories in particular have raised the state's profile—Elián González, Bush v Gore, Brenton Butler, Terri Schiavo, Casey Anthony, Gov. Goldfinger, George Zimmerman, Cristian Fernandez, and now Michael Dunn . . . . Read more at:
http://jaxonpool.com/2014/02/19/drama-queen-state-2/
Florida Education Commissioner Pam Stewart announced in a letter dated March 3rd ("Letter to Teachers") that it would be a disservice to the state's students not to test all of them, including the ones who are dead.
Read more:
http://jaxonpool.com/2014/03/06/pam-stewart-to-test-dead-students/
State prosecutor Angela Corey announced today she would bring the full weight of her office to bear against Kevin "Chip" Southworth, a.k.a. Keith Haring's Ghost. Southworth, the man who has been spray painting images à la Haring on traffic control boxes around Jaxonpool, was arrested yesterday. . . .
more at:
http://jaxonpool.com/2014/03/20/angelacorey-to-prosecute-keithharingsghost/
This is good news and bad news for Keith Haring's Ghost. The good news is that she will over prosecute and go for something like murder in the first, or terrorist activities, and he'll walk.
The bad news is that it will now become even more of a shit storm.
Well said!
Vince Foster---you thought he was dead, didn't you. Well, he is dead. Just not politically. In his memory we have formed the Vince Foster Society (VFS) as a 501(c)(4). We are a tax exempt advocacy group promoting the social welfare by reminding people that Vince Foster was killed by Bill and Hillary Clinton. . . .
Read more:
http://jaxonpool.com/2014/03/28/the-vince-foster-society-2/
I don't think he had any right to paint the boxes like he did, it is the same a vandalism but, the guy doesn't deserve more punishment than the cost for JEA to remove the paint from the boxes or some community service.
I think the point has been made to him by now.
Commission him to repaint the back side of the Bostwick Building.
Great use of city and county funds..When can we vote her out?
The Onion has inspired so many bad sites.
Jaybird and funwithteeth:
Quote from: funwithteeth on March 28, 2014, 02:55:57 PM
The Onion has inspired so many bad sites.
If only it were the Onion, but the inspiration for this nefarious operation was even worse than that!!!!! See the latest entry on Jaxonpool: 'Jonathan Swift's Ghost' arrested http://jaxonpool.com/2014/04/03/jonathan-swifts-ghost-arrested/
Jaxonpool News with Violent Crawley: Police today arrested a local man operating under the pseudonym "Jonathan Swift's Ghost." Theodore "Ted" Danson was taken into custody peacefully at his home in Springfield. Sheriff John Rutherford announced that the JSO restrained Danson while asleep and that he did not resist upon awakening. . . .
http://jaxonpool.com/2014/04/03/jonathan-swifts-ghost-arrested/
That was hilarious and clever. Thanks for the post and the website. It's a great theme, I wasn't aware there was such a group - I might try to contribute myself.
Doh, looks like got fooled.
Quote from: carpnter on April 04, 2014, 09:21:27 AM
Doh, looks like got fooled.
Abe Lincoln said, "You can fool some of the people all of the time." Looks like there are some people who won't be fooled.
Quote from: IrvAdams on April 04, 2014, 08:54:30 AM
That was hilarious and clever. Thanks for the post and the website. It's a great theme, I wasn't aware there was such a group - I might try to contribute myself.
We are always looking for new material.
Dear Editor: Because we take citizenship so seriously, there's not an issue about which the Vince Foster Society doesn't have an opinion.... We applaud the state legislature for its effort to shut down the microbreweries like Intuition Ale and Aardwolf....
http://jaxonpool.com/2014/04/24/counter-intuition/
Why haven't Stephen or Arash banned you yet?
Because I hid the button!
Still don't see why everyone hates this guy.
If you don't like it, don't read it.
Funny comes on here and posts only for the purpose of advertising for his weekly stand up.
That other good (william something?) comes on here and posts only for the purpose of advertising for his black community editorials.
I know of a few others who come on here solely for the purpose of advertising randomly, without contributing to the discourse on this forum whatsoever.
For some reason people really hate this guy.
Want him to stop posting? Nobody, for better or worse, waste the time of commenting on his threads. He'll lose interest.
Honestly, he should have a single thread and just reply with links to new updates. Same goes for anyone else who just posts here to attract traffic to their dumb blog. Break Room is completely worthless now- on the first page of this forum, he has around 25 topics. I usually just click in here, see his topics at the top of the list and go back.
Quote from: thekillingwax on April 24, 2014, 10:00:43 PM
Honestly, he should have a single thread and just reply with links to new updates. Same goes for anyone else who just posts here to attract traffic to their dumb blog. Break Room is completely worthless now- on the first page of this forum, he has around 25 topics. I usually just click in here, see his topics at the top of the list and go back.
We are a group of Jacksonville writers who post here on Metro Jacksonville and elsewhere. It is not as though the "Break Room" has limited space and our postings are crowding out those of other people. If Stephen Dare decides that we have worn out our welcome, so be it. That would be his call, and we respect that. With all due respect to you, thekillingwax, if you see our name and icon and already know you are not going to like the content, don't click on the link. There are other posts in this section worth reading.
How to fix the pension mess: Over the last two decades, city hall should have been funding the police and fire pensions, but it wasn't. Mayors John Delaney and John Peyton and various city councils understood that the city's residents don't like taxes.
So today we're in a pickle. The 'chickens have come home to roost,' so to speak. The only way now to come up with the hundreds of millions of dollars needed to cover the shortfall is to levy a tax. There's no alternative. (Sorry, TEA Party, I've got to break with you on this one.) So, let me offer a solution of my own devising....
http://jaxonpool.com/2014/05/06/how-to-fix-the-pension-mess/
Quote from: JaxScriblerians on April 27, 2013, 11:44:49 AM
Since we are heading into the Algae-bloom season, here is a rerun:
..... take all the problems people imagine are connected to the St. Johns River. People get all worked up. But these things are only in their minds.
That's for real for sure.....er,I mean unreal.
Today hosted a reporter covering "Health & Environment"- we toured a river tributary,Fishweir Creek, targeted for a joint city/federal restoration project, now many years behind,endless reporter tours.
I was asked about why the delay.Instead of studious,measured 'Priorities" narrative,simply noting that Creek restoration is only in our minds would have been more appropriate. In fact,Real. ;)
:)^Can be easily explained with a Trifecta paddle after a Winn Dixie Bi Lo restock.
Quote from: Noone on August 29, 2014, 07:56:59 AM
:)^Can be easily explained with a Trifecta paddle after a Winn Dixie Bi Lo restock.
Federal Heritage River local governments coalition will soon announce that,by rule,any and all 'River Initiative' press conferences,news inputs must be conducted, disseminated only by those who have partaken in a Trifecta Paddle/Winn Dixie (*) Bi Lo restock exercise.
The very most grave,positive or otherwise News Worth Fighting For to be announced about 173' inside the mouth of McCoy's Creek.Just Southeast of Ron Littlepage's office,a bit overhead. :o
(*) Downtown WD ICE Cold Beer!
8)
Jaxonpool News with Violent Crawley: The Gallup polling organization reported Oct. 8th that turnout in the coming midterm elections could be lower than in the past two midterm elections, based on current voter engagement. Across both the nation and the political spectrum, voters are opting to not vote. Having come to the realization that their ideas are no longer their own, they are deciding in large numbers that it would be better for all concerned to avoid casting a ballot....
Read more at http://jaxonpool.com/2014/10/11/voters-feel-pithed/
Clay's porn, go to: http://jaxonpool.com/2014/12/04/angela-strassheims-janine-eight-months-pregnant/
Clerk Ronnie Fussell quotes Shakespeare's Hamlet:
"I say, we will have no more marriages"
Read more: http://jaxonpool.com/2015/01/04/i-say-we-will-have-no-more-marriages/
The editorial staff of Jaxonpool was on the verge of endorsing Bill Bishop for Mayor on the basis of his willingness to speak forthrightly about the city's major issues, his grasp of the facts, and the support he has received from the Northeast Florida LGBT Leadership PAC. However, the comically quaint white supremacist rhetoric displayed in the mass mailings the Lenny Curry campaign has been surreptitiously sending out has had the unintended effect of making us stop and reconsider.
Read more: http://jaxonpool.com/2015/02/27/lenny-currys-white-supremacist-rhetoric/
Has noone sat at any of the country clubs around town?....this city is packed full of biggoted racist...most of them call themselves god fearin'...i call it a damn shame..these people even bitch that they have to put up with black people serving them their dinner...hell im suprised they even let blacks on the property if your following whats being said at the table or behind closed doors...post racial America is a joke...the only thing thats goi g to change this is about 100 years of conservatives passing away and hopefully being replaced by modern evolved great grand children
QuoteSo, sorry, Bill Bishop. You are running an excellent campaign: we like your vision for the future. Unfortunately, we now have to stop and reconsider this election in light of a leading politician who is out of touch with the Jacksonville of today. Playing the race card is something straight out of the playbook of yesterday.
Sorry, Jaxonpool, but forsaking the candidate you seem to have determined to be the best for the CITY due to a race issue from Curry, you are showing yourself to be as guilty of racism as you are claiming the Curry camp to be. You are considering supporting Brown simply due to race rather than him being the best overall for the job.
QuoteSo, sorry, Bill Bishop. You are running an excellent campaign: we like your vision for the future. Unfortunately, we now have to stop and reconsider this election in light of a leading politician who is out of touch with the Jacksonville of today. Playing the race card is something straight out of the playbook of yesterday. This strategy may well backfire by making the good people of Jacksonville look favorably again upon Alvin Brown.
Sincerely,
Tristan Voltaire
I stand by my assertion that politiks makes intelligent people do really dumb things.
I don't understand how Lenny Curry's racist remarks makes you flip from Bishop to Brown... this makes no sense.
Does anyone have scans of these mailers? I've seen some TV commercials along the same lines but I'd be interested in seeing the mailers you're talking about in the article.
I've also been receiving some pretty inflammatory mailings from the anonymous Curry operatives, even though I do not have a political affiliation. I'm not a fan. They come across as hateful and non-productive. But to speak to the point of the blog post, I'm not sure that the best response to this type of rhetoric is to automatically support the African American candidate as a knee-jerk way to repudiate the actions of these "anonymous" operatives. In fact, I would argue that since you (? I'm assuming that I'm talking to the author here...) are a card carrying Republican, you can and should support Bill Bishop, and by so doing illustrate to the Republican Party that you reject the type of campaigning that the Curry camp has been engaging in. If enough people within the Party reject this type of behavior by refusing to support candidates who engage in it, then they have more impetus to change their tactics.
Quote from: JaxScriblerians on February 28, 2015, 05:32:35 AM
The editorial staff of Jaxonpool was on the verge of endorsing Bill Bishop for Mayor on the basis of his willingness to speak forthrightly about the city's major issues, his grasp of the facts, and the support he has received from the Northeast Florida LGBT Leadership PAC. However, the comically quaint white supremacist rhetoric displayed in the mass mailings the Lenny Curry campaign has been surreptitiously sending out has had the unintended effect of making us stop and reconsider.
Read more: http://jaxonpool.com/2015/02/27/lenny-currys-white-supremacist-rhetoric/
This is the weirdest post i have read here, and I've read some weird things. Sorry, Bill Bishop but we are voting for the black man because the other white man is making him look bad.!?!??
QuoteLenny Curry, the man, the neighbor who lives down the street, actually is a good guy. In no way is he a racist. I know him to be a perfectly decent man and a good husband and father.
Lenny Curry, the politician, however, is something else. This is what happens when political operatives from outside the city move in and take over a campaign and start controlling the candidate. What the outside people have done to Curry reminds me of that song from 1978 by Melanie, "Look what they've done to my song, Ma." Still, it would be in the best interests of Curry, the politician, if he wants to win, to stop the surreptitious mailings. Why? Several reasons. First, he should stop sending them because they give people the impression that he assumes that everybody in Jacksonville is a racist and that mailings like this are going to help him win the election.
Second, he should stop sending them because, once a person realizes that the Curry campaign is behind the mailings, the implication becomes clear: they make him look like he doesn't know his own city. The mailings give the impression that he imagines Jacksonville's voters to be racist and that he is pretending to be one too. This is where what the Curry campaign is doing gets complicated, like a hard math problem: It's as though the campaign were saying, "You're all racists, and I'm one too." But then, Curry the politician denies that he's the one who's claiming "I'm one too" by saying he's not the one sending the mailers.
What? Say again? Curry's not a racist, he's just pretending to be one? But then, he's not pretending to be one?
hilarious in a sad and pathetic way --
Okay Stephen, but a little heads up for the newbies. Even satire should at the least carry some humor. It's not like MJ is The Onion.
Quote from: stephendare on February 28, 2015, 12:55:19 PM
Scriblerian is a satirical writer.
And even for those of us who aren't newbies and know that he's a satirical writer, this last post was so subtle that the satire was essentially lost in the post altogether due to the factualness of it all. There are flyers going around crediting the rise in CRIME to BROWN. Maybe not rape specifically, but when have other opinion writers allowed facts to get in the way of a good story?
And when he/she just posted this:
Quote from: JaxScriblerians on February 25, 2015, 12:08:51 PM
This is not a satirical piece, but the first chapter of a memoir, 12 Things You Can Imagine. It discusses the circumstances surrounding the death of a child in 2013 at Wolfson Children's Hospital.
http://aboynamedaugust.com/2015/02/14/twelve-things-you-can-imagine-letters-to-my-daughter-about-her-brother-letter-one/
it leaves one to wonder whether or not the disclaimer was forgotten.
I've always thought it would work better for this user to just add new links to one clearly-marked thread. That way people interested in it could find it easily, and it would reduce the annoyance factor for people who see all these new threads pop up in the feed and expect a real bit of news or new (non-satirical) discussion topic.
Quote from: stephendare on February 28, 2015, 01:12:18 PM
Quote from: Jax native on February 28, 2015, 01:07:27 PM
Okay Stephen, but a little heads up for the newbies. Even satire should at the least carry some humor. It's not like MJ is The Onion.
I quite agree. The Scriblerian threads are supposed to be contained in a single thread within the Break Room, but we seem to have lost track of that. I will go through and collect them back in to a single satirical thread again.
Thanks Stephen, I'm good with not reading his threads again.